Chapter 2 - Countless Night Prayers: How My Dark Night Of The Soul Became a Spiritual Lifeline

During my own Dark Night Of The Soul, I felt like I was floating in a fog. That restlessness and confusion stuck with me, long after my first breakthrough. Answers felt just out of reach, but my heart kept searching for a way through the heavy emotions.

Night Prayer became my anchor. I wasn’t driven by strict religion, but embracing that nightly ritual—like Tahajood, Dua, and Dzkir—softened my anxiety and eased some of the sadness that seemed to never go away.

My routine was not easy for me but powerful. I wake up between midnight and 3am, take a shower, offer two rakaat of taubat, two rakaat of Tahajood, and finish with one rakaat of Witir. After that came reading the Quran, quiet Dzkir while waiting for the morning call to prayer, Qubliyah prayer, then the morning prayer itself.

This rhythm slowly gave me space to breathe again. For anyone moving through the shadows of a Dark Night Of The Soul, I hope sharing my experience with these night prayers and rituals brings reassurance and maybe a bit of comfort.

Living Through the Dark Night Of The Soul

The nights felt endless and heavy, like walking through a long, quiet tunnel where hope appeared only as a distant flicker. During my own Dark Night Of The Soul, the struggle wasn’t just about sadness or a passing storm of feelings. It went much deeper, touching old wounds and mixing my thoughts, faith, and nervous hope into a tangled web. Some days, I wondered if I’d ever return to who I was before—or if that version of me was gone for good.

Why Anxiety and Depression Returned: Reflect on the return of anxiety and depression even after so much inner work. Describe how the struggle felt both mental and spiritual.

Even after months of growth and “doing the work,” anxiety and depression can sneak back in. That’s the cruel part. I thought my journaling, and therapy would keep me shielded, but those thoughts and feelings returned like old aches when the weather changes. It was confusing—like one day you’re breathing fine, the next, you’re struggling for air for no reason at all.

The pain wasn’t just in my mind. My heart, my prayers, and my sense of connection felt out of sync. Spiritually, I felt alone, as if I lost touch with both myself and the peace I’d worked so hard to find. There were moments where prayers felt unanswered and the silence weighed on me. Looking back, I see now how this struggle can become its own lesson—a raw, real part of the Dark Night Of The Soul.

When I felt this kind of spiritual and emotional low, I found comfort reading about others who went through similar experiences, like those described in the Journey Through Disconnection and Letting Go. It showed me that these feelings are a part of a bigger picture, and not just a personal failure.

Trying Everything—But Still Feeling Empty: Share some of the ways I tried to find peace, from books to meditations to conversations, but how night felt the heaviest.

I didn’t just sit in that pain. Like anyone desperate for solace, I tried everything I could think of:

• Stack of self-help and spiritual books

• YouTube playlists filled with meditations for anxiety

• Walking outside or deep breathing to ground myself

• Writing late-night prayers in my journal

But here’s the truth: Nighttime still felt the heaviest. As soon as the sun set, the emptiness crept in. I looked for peace in every corner, but nothing filled the space inside my chest. I’m a Moslem, but not the kind who follows every law without question. Yet, I turned to what comforted me most: Night Prayer.

My nightly ritual became the only anchor that truly made a difference. It looked like this:

1. Wake up between 12:00 am – 3:00 am, take a shower, and offer two rakaat of repentance prayer.

2. Perform two rakaat Tahajood prayer, followed by one rakaat Witir prayer.

3. Read Quran verses quietly, hoping the words would ease my mind.

4. Sit in silent Dzkir as I waited for the morning call to prayer.

5. Do Qubliyah prayer, then finish with the morning prayer itself.

Even on the hardest nights, this rhythm gave me a bit of peace. It didn’t instantly cure my sadness, but it gave my mind a space to breathe. Having rituals—especially ancient ones—felt like grabbing a rope in the dark, a way to steady myself for another day. Reading personal stories of spiritual struggle can be a gentle reminder that feeling lost and empty at night isn’t proof you’re failing; sometimes, it’s how the process of healing looks and feels before the light returns.

Some nights, I’d fall asleep with lines of the Quran in my thoughts or the simple repetition of Dzkir on my lips. Was it enough? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But during my Dark Night Of The Soul, it at least felt real—one honest thing in a world that seemed to lose its meaning after midnight.

Finding Light in the Countless Night Prayers

Nights during the Dark Night Of The Soul felt endless, but my connection to Night Prayer pulled me out of the darkest thoughts. These nightly rituals became more than routine—they became a steady hand guiding me through anxiety and inner turmoil. I didn’t approach these prayers out of strict religious duty; they were lifelines, simple actions that anchored me when I was lost between questions and longing for answers. This is how I began to find light, even in moments that felt pitch black.

The Power of Night Rituals for Healing

Repeating the same steps each night gave my mind something solid to hold. When anxiety made my thoughts swirl, the rhythm of prayer, Dzkir, and Dua felt like rocks in a rushing stream—unchanging and stable. Each quiet moment, each verse or prayer whispered in the dark, became a gentle nudge back into my body and back into the present.

The healing didn’t happen overnight. At first, it just took the edge off. I noticed my hands shook a little less after a slow recitation of Dzkir. My mind didn’t race so hard after I poured my worries into Dua. The restlessness was still there, but softer. Even when sleep wouldn’t come, the process itself gave me a sense of peace that therapy and self-help books could never quite give.

It doesn’t matter if you’re deeply religious, new to spiritual practice, or just curious. These rituals create a sense of rhythm—almost like a lullaby—soothing your mind and soul. Many spiritual seekers, regardless of faith background, find comfort in structured nighttime practices, much like those described in guides for night prayer routines that foster rest and spiritual peace.

A Step-By-Step Night Prayer Ritual

Over time, my night ritual grew into a sequence that felt both grounding and straightforward. If you’re searching for your own routine or want ideas to shape your spiritual practice, here’s what worked for me:

1. Waking up in the deep of night. I’d set an alarm and rise between 00:00 and 03:00 AM (always a struggle, never perfect).

2. Showering to reset and wash off the day’s weight.

3. Start with repentance prayer. I offered two rakaat of taubat, admitting to my worries and mistakes openly, as if handing them off before asking for help then followed by two rakaat Tahajood, then a closing rakaat of Witir.

4. Reading a bit of Quran, sometimes with total focus, sometimes just letting the words drift over me.

5. Practicing Dzkir quietly until the call for morning prayer.

6. Finishing with Qubliyah and then the morning prayer

This routine wasn’t just for religious people. Night prayers, whether filled with recited verses or words from the heart, can provide real relief for anyone caught in sorrow or doubt. Even short prayer moments or bedtime prayers designed for calm have helped many spiritual seekers settle their minds and ease their pain at night.

For me, this journey through countless night prayers during the Dark Night Of The Soul taught that the path to healing is often slow, quiet, and deeply personal. The structured rhythm of spiritual practice can become a lifeline, gently leading us back to ourselves, one prayer at a time.

What I Learned: Inner Peace Doesn’t Need Perfection

Working through the Dark Night Of The Soul taught me the hard way that you don’t have to be perfect to find peace. I always imagined “inner peace” as something you get after fully healing or ticking off spiritual checklists. Turns out, real peace isn’t about never messing up or always feeling connected. It’s about making space for yourself, even on the off days. That lesson finally landed for me after long nights with Tahajood, Dua, and Dzkir. You don’t need a perfect record to show up for yourself and try.

Connecting With Spiritual Practice on My Own Terms

I wasn’t “religious enough”. In my mind, only the truly devoted, the ones who never missed a prayer or doubted, could really get comfort from Dua and Dzkir.

But the more I did Tahajood and whispered Dzkir into the darkness, the more I realized rituals don’t have to look a certain way or meet anyone else’s standard. What matters is showing up, just as you are.

Some nights I felt clear, others dull. Sometimes my mind wandered and I had to pull it back. That’s okay. Over time, I found that the point is not about never missing a step or always being “on fire” spiritually. Each step—no matter how small or routine—became a personal lifeline. Even reading about simple night prayers helped me see that spirituality isn’t a contest.

Faith isn’t about certainty; it’s trusting enough to keep showing up, even when you’re unsure of the outcome. 

What works for me may not work for you, and that’s the beauty of it. Find rituals or prayers that actually mean something to you. Give yourself permission to try, to feel lost, and to start again, even in the middle of the night. If you’re curious how others use prayer to bring calm before bed, check out these bedtime prayers. The way forward is whatever path lets you breathe a little softer and rest a little easier.

If you want to see how others have made sense of their own Dark Night Of The Soul journey, there’s real reassurance in knowing you are not alone. We’re all just doing our best to connect, on our own terms, one night at a time.

Little Notes

For anyone trudging through a Dark Night Of The Soul, I want to say that those long nights are not wasted. It’s tough to keep going when your heart feels heavy and nothing seems to take away the anxiety or sadness. Yet even simple rituals, like my nightly Tahajood, Dua, and quiet Dzkir, can offer a lifeline when nothing else does.

My steps were always the same: wake up between midnight and 3am, shower, pray taubat (2 rakaat), then Tahajood (2 rakaat), Witir (1 rakaat), read a little Quran, do Dzkir while waiting for the morning, pray Qubliyah, and finish with the morning prayer. I’m not a perfect believer, but these small acts showed me that trying matters more than getting it right every time.

If you’re searching for meaning or some peace in the middle of the night, you’re not alone. My experience started with confusion and longing for answers—if you want to continue this journey and see how letting go shaped my path, I opened up more about these struggles in Journey Through Disconnection and Letting Go. Sometimes what helps us isn’t grand advice, but the quiet comfort of knowing someone else is out there, doing their best, too.

Thank you for sticking with me. If you’re walking this path, take it one night and one prayer at a time. Healing comes, even slowly, when you show up for yourself.